Rachida Dati and Being A Woman

Being a woman is not easy. Being a working woman appears to be tough. Being a working woman who is in the public eye appears to be tougher. Rachida Dati, the French minister of justice is a brand new mother. There is nothing unusual about it. She is 43. That too is not unusual these days. Lots of women are having babies in their forties. What is unusual is her being back at office, attending meetings, just five days after delivering her baby by caesarean section. I for one can’t say how good that is for her health. If her obstetrician has allowed her and she feels fit enough, good for her. Who are we to intrude?
The trouble is that things that would not raise an eyebrow in case of men, tend to get everyone’s hackles up very often in case of women. (not that there could ever be a similar example of a man delivering a baby and joining work!) Sometimes, like in this case, one can’t even complain. What she has done, should justifiably be hers and her business alone. A lot of people could have been admiring her for her commitment to her work, her resilience, her will power. But here she appears to have generated a controversy. Women, specially the feminists, see this as an act of treason to their sex. They feel and rightly so, that her example could be used by employers to undermine the hard- fought and harder-won maternity rights.
A man could have a heart bypass, get a leg amputated, or donate a kidney and go to work any day he chose to and no one would bother to judge him. In Rachida’s case, the feminists would have been on her side had the traditionalists been sanctioning her for being a careless mother. But here are women, who want the right to choose more than anything else, denying Rachida the very same right! Does not seem right and yet, can they be blamed?
This act of the minister might not, though, lead to a law denying women the maternity leave; yet, it might change the expectations of the employers, especially in case of women occupying higher posts. They might expect another woman, high up on the corporate ladder to emulate her. But should that be her problem? Should that stop her from doing what she thinks is right? Or is it that she is doing this only out of a sense of insecurity? Is it that she feared that if she did not join office soon enough, she would lose her job? If a woman with her kind of powerful and prestigious job succumbs to such worries and pressures what would be the plight of her lesser sisters?
‘Sisters’ seems to be the keyword. It’s like preindependence India, when every Indian had to wear his/her nationalism in the form of khadi. The value of choice had to take a backseat when the more immediate one of independence was at stake. Perhaps what women expect from her is the same. Renounce the value of choice for the more immediate one of right to maternity benefits, the right to not to be penalized for being women and being mothers. Often women have to choose between motherhood and career.
Sisters, sisterhood… however sinister the implications of being put in a category, a class might be, yet women have to unite under a banner, which might as well be SISTERHOOD – a symbol of WOMEN OF THE WORLD.

Mired Mirage

The latest nursery rhyme from Hyderabad

Here is the latest nursery rhyme from Hyderabad,India.

Raju Raju
Yes papa.

Cheating the shareholders?
No papa.

Telling lies?
No papa.

Open the company's balance sheet.
Ha ha ha !

Mired Mirage

PS: Inspired by the latest corporate fraud.

Mired Mirage

Terror attacks in our cities

We Indians are not new to terror attacks. It has become a part of our life. True, the terrorist has the choice of choosing its target. The police and the intelligence agencies have a tough job on their hands, especially when our own countrymen and women have joined forces with the foreign enemy. It could be understood if a few of the 16 bombs had gone undetected and the rest had been defused, but the fact that all of them went off killing and maiming members of our society, shows that our intelligence and police machinery is seriously in need of an overhaul. The fact that our Home Minister says that a plan is being worked out shows the dismal state of affairs. Now he is planning to make a plan! Tell that to the dead and the maimed and their relatives!

There is no use waiting for the government to wake up. Now we must wake up. We have to become proactive, alert and report any suspicious activity or person around us. We must report even if the suspicious person is our family member. We cannot be sitting ducks for the terrorists. We must co-operate with the skeletal police force that is at the disposal of the public.( with a large force deployed to safeguard our ministers and politicians, the vacancies not being filled and the police being paid peanuts to do one the most crucial and difficult tasks in our society.) The leaders of our society must talk to the police and inquire what help do they expect from the general public. Maybe, it is time we formed vigilance committees in each neighbourhood. But in that case we cannot afford to fall into the trap of taking law into our own hands. That is a trap which we can easily fall into and must guard against.

It is very easy to blame a particular group or community for all our troubles. There might be overwhelming evidence of the participation of a particular community in these terror attacks. Before doing that we must ask ourselves the all important question, ’what is the aim of these attacks? Is it to kill just a few hundred people here and there in our country? Can they destroy us in that manner? Can they really destroy our economy by damaging a few structures?’ The answer is a resounding no. The aim of these strikes is not just killing a few hundred people, the aim is to make us get angry and suspicious of a community and induce a backlash in the form of riots. That is the surest way of inducting new recruits to the terror organizations. The aim is to make us and the world lose faith in our booming economy. We must fight terrorism and must defeat the nefarious aim of the terrorists, the aim of dividing our people. Nothing must ever be allowed to divide our society and country.

Once we start dividing ourselves there is no end to divisions. We can go on dividing and subdividing ourselves, in terms of religion, sects, sub-sects, castes, sub-castes, class, language, state, district and so on. If we want to defeat terrorism, we cannot afford to serve their purpose and hand them over disgruntled members of our society on a platter. Yes, we must show the callous government that our life is not cheap by showing what we think of them at the time of casting our ballot. That is the only language the politicians understand. Let us never vote on the basis of caste and religion but only on the basis of performance.

Mired Mirage

27-8-2008

Dolphins perform at Seaworld, Orlando - Florida

The Meandering Road

The Meandering Road

There is this beautiful road
A broken down, beaten down road
A road so narrow that two oxcarts
Or two cars cannot pass it together.
When two cars approach each other
From opposite sides, it’s like a friendly
Battle of wits, of who would back off
At least a hundred meters to give way
So the other could pass you in triumph
There are potholes big enough to
Swallow a wheel ,
A road where you have to remember
When to take the car gently over
Huge gaping holes,
Where exactly to avoid a speed breaker
Carelessly erected by a villager.
Yet, a road so beautiful,
That none can equal its charm
Up gentle hills, down the dales
And then up again in its gentle pride
Crossing a dry stream here
And an angry river in rains.
Near the river,
By the side of the road,
Is the burning ghat
I see a tiny pyre
Peasants in white
Their women in black
Wrap arounds
With colourful backless blouses
With flowing dupattas
Covering their heads
They all sit around the pyre
Looking at that fire
Which is consuming a loved one
I always wonder,
Why always such a small pyre
Do only their young ones die
Or only the old shrunken ones die
These peasants are nice and sturdy
Maybe they live long and
Die only when shrunken and old.
I pass the pyre in thoughts deep
Till the road meanders again
It passes through coconut groves
Then come in sight the sugarcane fields
Bananas grow on one side
And peanuts on the other.
Millet and castor and fields of wheat
As far as my eyes can see
With greenery all around
And a road that can never be straight
It snakes through turning left or right
Rubbing its shoulders with acacia trees
There are lovely trees with firy flowers
Ah, the moon has come out
And I watch it as I go
It accompanies me like a friend
All through the meandering road
Now on my left and now on my right
From behind the clouds
It plays hide and seek
Sometimes I see a fox or two
Many a times a majestic
Leopard too can be seen
The cows and buffalos are returning home
Make room for them
For they have the first right of way
Here comes a lone shepherd
With his crook in hand
Minding his goats and sheep
They all have patience
No one is in a rush
Neither me nor the shepherd
There comes a bullock cart
Laden with sugarcane
Now we just cannot pass
For minutes we reverse the car
Till the cart passes us by.
Ah , here we are truly stuck
A tractor with a harvester in tow
All we can do now is to bow
We back again and with
Lots of maneuvers let it pass
Now I see the stone houses
My destination is not far
I see the pond on my right
With lotuses shining bright
My home is near
I say good bye to my
Meandering road with a sigh
I promise, I will come again
Dear road you had better remain.
Mired Mirage
Ghughuti Basuti
7/5/07
Post script : Alas, my meandering road has been almost fully washed away in this years heavy rains.
Now I can no longer go on my beautiful road.
Mired Mirage

Inundated

More destruction

Rains play havoc with Saurashtra

Rains have been battering our area almost non stop for the last three days. We were forced to close the school , our buses got stranded and thankfully the passengers found refuge atop a goods laden truck and spent more than twelve hours in the lashing rain. The village houses have been inundated with the rain waters. We are trying to provide them relief to the best of our ability. Here are some pictures of the sorry state the roads have been reduced to.

Senior Citizens And Remarriage
Old people in India, particularly in Gujarat state, registering at marriage bureaus, have become a repeat news item in Times Of India. It does not surprise me .What surprises me is the fact that such news headlines are preceded by an exclamation mark. It’s the most logical thing to do for a thinking, life loving senior citizen. Another thing that I find a little disconcerting is the stress given to companionship in these news items. True, senior citizens marry mainly for companionship, but a little love and romance too would not be out of place. Perhaps, the children can accept the idea of companionship a little more readily. Be as it may, the trend is definitely heartening. Today’s article also talks about them also looking for live in relationships. I wonder, though, if at their stage of life it matters whether it is a legal marriage or any other arrangement. Perhaps, some people are looking at the option of live in relationship to avoid the property disputes, in future, in case of the termination of the relationship as a result of death, discord or incompatibility. There probably could be some legal solutions like a disclaimer, or some kind of mutual legal agreement about this.
The idea of senior citizens finding a partner is very beneficial to society as a whole and the persons concerned in particular. This is something very common in the west but a relatively new phenomenon in India. I would like to discuss the likely benefits and practicality of such an arrangement especially in the context of today’s reality.
Most of us in India are accustomed to the idea of young adults getting married. If someone stays single he/she is often advised, goaded, coerced into marriage. Most friends and relatives are happy to help them find an alliance. Marriage at middle age is also accepted. It is only when a person has crossed fifty and marries that we look a bit surprised and some of us may even find it a bit out of place or some may even find it ridiculous.
If we leave aside the child bearing and rearing aspect of a marriage, then these mature people are the ones who really need someone to share their lives with. Working people hardly find time to share their lives with their spouses. It is at this stage, say after sixty, of life that one finds the time and the patience to be with someone, talk, take walks, share little and big household duties, discuss the past, dream about the present and the future. One learns to appreciate companionship, sharing and caring. There are very few avenues left of spending time with people. Usually, the children are grown up, settled in their lives and there are no responsibilities towards them left. Loneliness grips the senior citizen like never before.
The joint family is no more and even when it is there, the form of the joint family has changed drastically. At the most, it consists of parents and their married children. In such a case if the senior person loses his /her spouse, there is no other person of his/her age group in the family. All the other members are busy with their lives. It is only this person who finds time hanging heavy and even if he/she has work or hobbies, sharing, talking, and togetherness are still missing. It is not practical to expect the younger generation to spend and enjoy the limited time they have with the older generation. Supposing they do so, even then the comradeship is missing. One need people of ones own age to share one’s life with. It is often seen that when a parent is single and old the children often feel a sense of obligation to spend time with him/ her. Sometimes, this leads to resentment and heart burn. Often the young couple feels compelled to return home early from a party while the other friends are still enjoying. This may be acceptable a few times but when done over long years it leads to resentment. The parent can no longer be the most important person in the children’s lives. One needs a spouse to get the attention the most important person in our lives gets.
Looking from the perspective of the senior citizen, he / she has spent life earning and working hard. Now is the time when he /she can relax, visit places, enjoying the fruits of labour. But one needs someone to enjoy life with. It is very logical that there is a spouse around. So if unfortunately, the spouse is lost there is no harm in finding a new one to share life with. Old age is also not an easy time to make new friends. The avenues of meeting people are very limited. The life expectancy has increased so much that it no longer is a question of a few lone years, it can become decades of lonely life accompanied by sickness when a loving and caring person is most valuable.
If it is not possible to find a partner on ones own then where is the harm in making use of specialized services to meet with perspective life partners? The best and the happiest scenario would be one where the children, friends and relatives encourage the lonely person to look for someone special in life. It would make the decision so much easier, especially in the context of traditional Indian society and family. This gift of ‘I care for you’ attitude is the best gift children can give their lonely parent.

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